Author Archives: ahiddibah

Today I am down 30 pounds and 28 inches in 6 weeks since my surgery. I have not been below 280 pounds in over 3 years. I noticed that walking up the stairs at the cabin was easier. Taking my bag up and down the stairs was easier. Walking in general is easier. Things areContinue reading “Losses and Gains”

I’ve said before it is a balancing act. This illness is called bipolar. Two sets of poles. Two sets of faces. Two sets of problems. Two characteristics to treat. I’ve upped my meds. I’m functioning fine. I look normal. I’m brushing my hair and teeth. I’m showing the same amount as I normally do. I’mContinue reading “Living on the Edge of Madness”

New med dosage is working. My mind is clear. Now to wait and see if my hair falls out. That is my main concern with the upped dose with the Lamictal. It took a couple of days to adjust. I felt the usual sluggish and depressed feelings. I cried and teared up for no reasons.Continue reading “Clear Mind and Comedy”

I try really hard to ride out my mood swings. I have previously talked about my mini manic episode that I tried to ride out before I took my rescue meds. As soon as I took it was better. Sometimes, adjusting medication isn’t better. Sometimes it makes it worse, which is why I was soContinue reading “With the Highs and Lows come the Meds”

The New Revolution has started. The second Civil Rights Movement. On this 4th of July, I’d like to ponder about our “freedoms”. Native Americans quite often get left out of the debate on Civil Rights. Our movement came after The Civil Rights Movement with the onset of the American Indian Movement (AIM) in the lateContinue reading “Native Freedoms”

I am very careful about missing my meds. Even when I had surgery, I was able to get back on my meds within 24 hours. I made sure that was going to be a thing that could happen. It was a deciding factor in my decision to have the surgery. I had my appointment withContinue reading “Missing Meds”

The start of a new journey has begun. My stomach now only holds 3oz. I saw the leak test scan of the stomach and it looked very small. The whole process has been an interesting process. Going to Mexico for surgery was not the ideal plan but others I know have done it and itContinue reading “Post Op”

So I hit my highest fat girl moment. I needed a seat belt extension on the airplane. I needed about three inches to close the gap. I have not been on a plane in about four years. I was about 230 pounds at the time and the seatbelt was snug but not impossible. This wasContinue reading “Embarrassing”

I watched a sunrise at the cabin for the first time in a year. It wasn’t a spectacular sunrise with all the pinks, oranges and yellows, but it was still beautiful. Sitting in silent darkness, wrapped in my auntie’s quilt for warmth, I sipped my tea out of my school gifted mug. I snuggled downContinue reading “Sunrise Cabin Thoughts”

Being a stepparent was not something that I talked about in my book. It was alluded to that Doug and I had a blended family. He had three kids and I had my two. He had two girls and a boy. We met because of his son. I had developed a relationship with his sonContinue reading “Stepmom Losses”