Author Archives: ahiddibah

I got a “ding” on my phone yesterday coming out of my meltdown. It was from WordPress saying my readership was up 120%. I was curious. Why would that be? It couldn’t possibly from my dating post. Only a select few actually read my blog. I’d say maybe 10 people. But… Someone read my entireContinue reading “Thank You Dear Reader”

You’d think I’d learn but no I keep on keeping on. I’m a glutton for punishment. Maybe that is something I should have confessed last week during confession. The first OKC guy ghosted me after saying he would text me in the morning. That didn’t go anywhere. Now after two weeks of dating, let’s callContinue reading “Busted by OKC Again…”

Its been a journey. 281 days since my surgery but I’ve finally hit onederland. Onederland is when your weight falls into the one hundreds. I’m finally there. I’m excited. I’m one pound away from being 110 pounds down since my surgery. This has been a journey for sure. I have followed a strict diet. IContinue reading “Onederland”

I upped my meds last week. I haven’t been sleeping for the past month really. It’s been hit or miss. Four hours here. Six hours there. No real pattern except no real sleep. I’ve been going to bed at eight or nine and popping wide eyed a few hours later with my mind having noContinue reading “Obsessive Mania”

At age 48, I can imagine your grey hair at the sides of your hair brushed back in silver streaks. Mine looks much the same. You already had a few grey hairs. Now I see it grown in. I can’t imagine your hair has thinned. I imagine it is still thick and full just turnedContinue reading “Happy 48th Birthday Brother”

Connecting with students during distance learning is difficult. You stare at a screen with all day and have almost zero interaction with kids. They don’t talk except in the chat. Even then, it’s only to ask a few questions. Each day I ask how they are. I noticed that most of their icons or avatarsContinue reading “Bonding With Anime”

I woke up around 2am to find the house quiet as usual. I got up and went to the bathroom and tried to snuggle back down in my blankets before the warmth had left them. I turned my heating pad back on and stared at the ceiling. Kitty, my lab, roused herself. Whenever I stirContinue reading “Lost Pup and Found”

It’s February. Fifteen days until Tom’s birthday. With Covid restrictions, I don’t know how I will go about with my celebrations and memorials for him. I don’t know if that’s what’s on my mind I have been going without a lot of sleep and a lot of energy, but at the moment, this moment, IContinue reading “Brother on my Mind”

An interesting thing happened recently when I swiped right on OK Cupid. I actually met someone worth talking to. Most of my blog posts about dating are having to do with the nightmares of the shallow dating pool that is dating and the only fish available are the Angler Fish from the very depths ofContinue reading “Swiping Right”

Sleepless nights typically lead to bigger days. The more awake I am the more alert my brain is. The more alert my brain is the buzzier my brain is. The buzzier my brain gets the more possibility it is to slip into a manic episode. At the last psych appointment, the doctor and I decidedContinue reading “Sleepless Nights”