Author Archives: ahiddibah

Grief is such a strange experience. There is no one size fits all tshirt to wear and share. You can say you had a shirt similar to that. Or that the fabric felt the same. The shirt bunched up and made you mad. It was too loose and caught on the door while you triedContinue reading “Grief Learning Curve”

There seemed like there was always the undercurrent of discord and chaos. There was a type of love I think to the degree that capacity allowed him. We could never find the common ground. I felt he needed to always prove a point even to my detriment or embarrassment. We were friendly but I don’tContinue reading “The Calm After…”

I was excited to teach STAR this year. A new position at my old school. I felt like a baby teacher. I had no clue what to do. I had been told. Do what you want as long as we don’t need to come down. Try to leave us out of it was the messageContinue reading “Finding the Path to Passion”

Yo bro! It’s been a year. How’ve you been?! Oh yeah lol. My bad. How’s the big beyond?! Thinking about you today on your birthday that you hated celebrating. I know you hated gifts. The one gift I bought you that got lost in the mail was the purple elephant g-string. I so wish iContinue reading “Happy birthday Rick”

Baby Bella. Small and fierce. Attack the big dog. Bit slims lip til it was pierced. Full of energy. Fly around the rock yard Tracing the concrete smooth burm. Soft pads could not take the hard You were a momma to four Only three survived I could tell you were sad and mourned We partedContinue reading “Bye Bye Bella”

The second day back to school I was served a notice of an investigatory meeting. I was to answer for not following a students behavior intervention plan or BIP. I knew something was up but didn’t think THAT was it. I had been asked before winter break to provide data and it was not theContinue reading “A Monk and a Sped Teacher Don’t Walk Into a Bar”

Many of my family and friends have had the same look of worry the look of worry they get when I have an episode. This episode was of my own making. After Rick died. My best friend I crawled into a vodka bottle and didn’t crawl out. Just dove deeper and deeper through the endlessContinue reading “Airing my laundry”

Dear Tom, Been awhile brother. Haven’t sent you a a Hail Mary pass in a long time. I fucking miss you so much. So much is happening. Dad is succumbing to his illness. I don’t know how much time he has. They won’t talk to me. I found out through the Navajo phone tree thatContinue reading “Wtf Tom”

I started a new program after almost 20 years of teaching in special education. I had been a resource teacher, teaching children primarily with learning disabilities. Our profession allows us to enter into all aspects of the spectrum. My colleague, and friend Michelle used to run our severely emotional challenged (SEC) program. She was aContinue reading “Teaching SEC”