The Emotional Unavailability of Men

Update on dating.. There has been a flurry of dates. Some good and some busts. But what I have come to see is that a chunk of these “men” are emotionally unavailable.

I had a date with a guy who wasn’t a bad kisser. As we know, this is my big next step. Next conversation he tells me he’s not in the right head space as his friend has just died and I was a nice distraction. He wanted to keep things casual. (Friends with benefits). He went to the funeral and I never heard from him again.

Car guy. Car guy stuck around for about three weeks. We had a lot of fun together. Laughing. Kissing. Rolling around in bed. Not exactly my type but he was cool. Then BAM. No contact. It took him three days to get back to me and when he did he said he wasn’t in a place to give me what I deserved. He wasn’t feeling well and was depressed. So that ended.

Then comes Jeremy again. Jeremy was the reason I instituted the two week weirdo rule. He bumped into my profile on another dating app and stated that his phone was stolen. LOL. Okay. I didn’t buy it, but was curious to see where he thought things were going to go this time. After two weeks, and finally kissing me. I’d say6/10. He ghosted me again after making Plans with me…again. It’s just funny.

Now…Here comes the latest in the headline news of Ahiddibah dating drama. Music Man. Its been a week. Full speed ahead. Full charge. Lots of emotions. Knowing full well there’s an end date on this possible relationship due to his job.

Our first date consisted of dinner at my fav thai place. Then hanging in the parking lot playing music for each other for at least another hour. Talking and swaying to the music ending with a great kiss. And that’s the test for me. I went home with warm fuzzies.

We talked and texted all day and night every day. The next day I was getting my nails done and he asked where I was. He toldme to stay there, he was coming to kiss me. And just like a John Hughes movie he showed up and walked across the parking lot and kissed me.

We listened to music and swayed, kissing for a long time.

The next time he came over and kept me up past my bedtime. It was worth it.

The following day. We had a repeat only I saw stars in our initimate interlude.

During this first week, within the first couple of days, he asked me to go kayaking with his crew from work. I accepted and even took the time off from work.

We spent yesterday early at the mountain after the sun came up walking a trail smelling the earth and pine of morning. We drove back with his hand on my leg or him kissing my hand.

I took him on an errand and we had breakfast and came back to my house for a short cold swim. Then took him back to get his vehicle.

Mind you this whole time, he did speak of boundaries and i could walk away whenever I wanted to.

He had an epiphany yesterday while much self reflection. He’s not ready for a sexual relationship.

Now, This goes to my own self reflection. What is it about my energy that pulls people like this toward me? What scent am I giving off? Doug and Matt were both addicts. Is that what I foster in people? An understanding? The fact that I’m caring and accepting? A significant amount of my dates have been with men who were former addicts. Or is that what comes with age?

Mellow Man was unavailable as well.

Why do these “men” purport they seek a relationship when they don’t have one with themselves? Just my thought.

Well…Hinge and Bumble are dinging. Should probably take a look.