Happy birthday Rick

Yo bro! It’s been a year. How’ve you been?! Oh yeah lol. My bad. How’s the big beyond?!

Thinking about you today on your birthday that you hated celebrating. I know you hated gifts. The one gift I bought you that got lost in the mail was the purple elephant g-string. I so wish i had actually been able to give that to you.

I would have made you open that shit in public at breakfast. I know we would have had a good laugh.

I can’t recall all the details from why this was the gift. I remember you talking about going into business being an exotic dancer or something and I mentioned elephants should be a theme. Some stupid shit like that. We laughed.

But the gift got lost. And I never reordered it. I think the moment had passed.

I’m still keeping up on the dog rating chart. I’ve added guest columns. Mostly Patrick is my guest.

I’ve watched 50 movies to date without you.

Patrick and I had a deep philosophical discussion the other day. I’ve kinda lost my deep love superhero movies. I don’t follow it like I used to.

I pointed out to Patrick you didn’t like those movies and Patrick said that makes sense because of you.

It took me awhile to watch movies without you. It took me awhile to find my love of it again.

I realized I hadn’t mourned you properly.

I’ve been stuck since you left me. Drunk and stuck. But sassy and sober now. I’m not new to death but yours was hard.

It hurt. Heart wrenching pain. Flame blazing sizzling to the heart. I tried to quench that fire and numb the pain. I acted irresponsibly. You would have called me on my bullshit. You’d be proud of me now.

I miss you so much my best friend. I hope whatever spiritual place you wound up in they have good beer and golf.

Oh and my iPhone usage is way down. I’m you now. You’d be proud. But if I’m you then it’s what we said would happen you’d get rid of your phone and fucking look. You don’t have a phone. So fuck. You win.

Love you.